Falling In and Out of Love
The following conversations are fiction, but they happen all too often. In light of Valentine's Day this month, it is a good idea to check the definition of love found in the world with the definition found in God's Word.
Suzie: I just don't feel like we're in love anymore. You know?
Jan: Yeah, sometimes the fire burns out and you're just not compatible anymore.
Suzie: I mean I don't want to end it after this long, but if we're not in love--what's the point?
Jan: Sometimes you just can't force it; it is probably the best for both of you.
Bob: How are things going?
Joe: Not so hot, the wife and I just don't have that spark anymore. On top of that, I think I am falling in love with someone else.
Bob: What? How did that happen?
Joe: I think we just kind of grew apart and then this gal I know...we just hit it off. I didn't plan for this to happen!
In these examples, "love" is a feeling, something you just sort of fall in and out of. It is like being shot by cupid; you don't really plan on it or see it coming. It focuses mainly on what the person you are "in love" with does for you or what the person you are no longer "in love" with does not do for you. It is temporary because it is based on factors of attractiveness, excitment, and touchy-feely emotions. Compare with God's definition of love in 1 Cor. 13:4-7:
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love is about being patient and kind towards others; in fact it does not look for its own way. Love rejoices with the truth not with emotions that are temporary and fading. Love is not something you fall out of or into, it is something that bears, believes, hopes and endures ALL things. Love is not a feeling but an act of the will--doing good for others, regardless of what they do for you. It is the kind of love God displayed in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. We must define love according to God's Word and not by the world around us!
Happy Valentine's Day,